Monday, 13 October 2014

Tears at Twelve

As you may or may not know I am doing a half marathon in two weeks time and my training hasn't been the easiest but I've managed to get through it.  Last week I upped my weekend long run to 12 miles and it was the longest run of my life, literally.  I managed the first 10 miles ok-ish (I had completed 10 the previous week), but for the last 2 miles, I suddenly began to get a pain in my knees.  Somehow, I kind of hobbled and jogged the last 2 miles and made it home.  

As part of my training plan, I had one more 12 mile to run this weekend and then it drops to a 6 mile next week with the half marathon the week after. This had been in my head all week as I knew how tough it was last week, and I was also dreading the knee pain returning.  

Off I set this morning.  I ran the first 7 miles with the thought in my head that the next time I run this far will be the half marathon. At one point I actually shouted to myself "you can do it".  It was like a scene from Rocky.  But, as soon as I reached 7 miles, the pain in my knees returned.  At first it was a dull ache.  By mile 8 it was really beginning to hurt, and when I got to mile 9 I stopped. And then I cried.  I cried because it hurt so much.  I cried because I really wanted to just run this 12 miles and be done with it.  I cried because of all the hard work I have done to get to this point. I wiped my tears and jogged on.  Very slowly.  Very very slowly.  By mile 10 I could not run any more.  I felt pain in my knees with every step I took.  

I sat on the side of a hill and sobbed a bit more.  Quite a sight on a Sunday morning.  I saw some cyclists up ahead and pulled myself together a bit.  No-one wants to see a sobbing lady on a Sunday morning and I was worried they would think I had been attacked or something.  It's not easy to explain your crying because you can't run the last 2 miles.  Anyway, I called my husband, who came to get me in the car and, yup, obviously I cried some more. 

Luckily, I have fantastic friends and family.  My mum told me it would be fine.  My husband gave me lots of encouragement, and a friend talked me through all the things I should do before now and the race. 

The thing is I am going to do this.  I have to.  I have prepared for months to run this half marathon and I want to raise money for UNICEF. I know you have to look after your knees, so I will be taking lots of precautions over the next two weeks.  But I am going to do this. 

On a side note, once home, I spent 45 minutes, and that is no exaggeration, brushing my hair.  I had ran out of the house with a ponytail, but because it was foggy, my hair had kind of curled back on itself.  I did cry whilst brushing it (obviously, there is a theme in this post), and I sobbed to my husband that I was gong to have to shave my head.  Luckily, my husband is lovely, and sane, and he told me to go take a shower and to keep brushing it.  You will be pleased to know I now have something on my head that resembles hair and not a matted carpet.  

This half marathon is really testing me in endurance, in running, in motivation, in commitment and in self belief. I am so glad friends and family will be there to support me.  I will complete this half marathon.  At the back of my mind is also the thought children I am raising money for have alot more pain and hardship in their lives than knee pain.  And I think that's going to get me through it too.    

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Mama and More


  1. You are doing a wonderful thing, and you will be absolutely fine! You've done so well for even getting this far. I tried to do a half marathon. At about mile 5, my calves had had enough and ended up walking the rest of the way. I made it over the finishing line, and what kept me going is the thought that there is always someone behind you. GOOD LUCK! Can't wait to hear how it goes x

    1. Aww..thank you so much for your kind words! x

  2. I read this and thought my friend jenny might have written it. Jenny is doing a half marathon and has just exoerienced the same issue. Eight -ten miles not bad but at the twelfth something happens and it becomes mentally challenging. When you are doing it for real and everyone is shouting for you, this will help you on. Maybe visualise something positive at this point breaking through paper or similar Lucy

  3. It doesn't matter if you end up crawling over the finish line, all you have to do is finish.
    Rest those knees the kick butt at the half marathon, you are doing brilliantly.
    Good Luck, I wish you all the best!

    1. Thank you so much! Yes, I am resting up this week then going to give it my all next weekend! EEK! x

  4. Good for you! Be proud of yourself because there are so many that can't or haven't done what you've done. Distance running isn't easy physically or mentally. I've done four marathons and (I think) five half marathons. Some days are better than others and you just push through, or stop -- and there is no shame is stopping if you need to. Don't aggravate any knee issues, because it will only get worse! I had an Achilles tendon issue during a 16-mile training run (that had been awful for weeks). I finally realized, I wouldn't be able to do it. I set my goals on healing and a different race. I can't wait to hear how it goes! Popping by from the All About You link up!
    It All Matters Mom

    1. Wow! You are very inspiring! Thank you for your very kind words and advice! x

  5. Good for you! You are doing a fantastic thing and what an achievement it will be. Good luck x #AllAboutYou