Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Playgroup Warfare

It's happened.  I know this moment was going to happen.  And now it has. A little boy hit my daughter during playgroup last week and oh yeah, it went down.  Well, maybe that is a slight exaggeration. But it did end with me looking worse than the evil witch in Sleeping Beauty.  

Let me set the scene for you.  My daughter is bouncing happily on a trampoline when enter the son of the devil (dum, dum, dumduuuum).   No, only joking (well, not really).  Anyway, this little boy came and, totally unprovoked I may add, whacked my daughter on the head. My mouth dropped to the floor, and I ran over.  Of course, his mum was no where to be seen.  I politely told him that we don't hit, and I told my daughter to move over so she was further away from him. I hoped that was the end of it, but things were about to get worse. 

AS I stepped back, the little devil spawn, sorry boy, then moved closer and actually hit her harder, in the face! In my head, I drop kicked the boy out of the window, but what I actually did was to go up to him again and tell him we don't hit and that hitting wasn't a very nice thing  to do.  I said all this with a big frown on my face, for dramatic emphasis. 

Obviously there wasn't a single witness to his crime.  His mum was nowhere to be seen. And you know what happened next? He turned on the waterworks.  He actually started wailing so loud that the WHOLE of the room turned round to look at the boy crying and then ME standing next to him (GULP). He then ran to his mum, still wailing, and I followed (ran) after.  I explained to her that all I had done was to tell him not to hit my daughter. His mum looked at me and smiled and said that was fine (but I think she said in her head....don't make my son cry, bitch). And I smiled (and secretly thought, you should be watching your son, lady).

But alas, this is me being dramatic.  I mean this stuff happens all the time doesn't it??? The point of the story is that I think I am now known as the pantomime villain at the playgroup.  I have visions of all the children crying when they see me, and the parents huddling over their children so the nasty witch lady won't shout at them. Not that I care too much.  I mean, I only told the boy not to hit. That's ok isn't it?

I have a feeling this is the start of a long list of incidents, where I ponder whether to get involved or not.  In this case I feel justified as the boy was about to give my daughter a skull fracture. Has this ever happened to you? What did you do? Or has someone told your child not to hit? How did you feel? Please share and comment below!

Thank you for reading...and erm, are you following my blogs? No??? Well, come on now...use any of the lovely links to your right to keep up to date with everything Laura Evelyn Bee! Or the nasty witch lady will come and find you.  Only joking, or maybe I'm not :-)



34 comments:

  1. Oh hun I love this. You are soooo not alone, and I bet a million ££££'s that most other Mums wouldn't have been judging you, they would've all been high five'ing you in their heads as they will undoubtedly aaaaaall know what a monster the boy is. Stick to your guns, you totally did the right thing!! It's happened a zillion times to us and I always react the same as you x

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    1. Thank you...that is very good to hear! x

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  2. He hee! I have to admit that my two - well, the first not so much the second (although to be fair he has been to less playgroups) was both giver and receiver of whacks at one time. I'm not sure what's worse the fear of your child being damaged by someone else or the embarassment of knowing he's the perpetrator! At softplay now if we hear tales of evil devil spawn children hitting or being generally nasty we just tell our children to stay away from them. I would always speak to the child hitting at a playgroup though and there's nothing wrong with that - in fact, the louder the better as you want their mother/carer to be aware of what's going on! Thanks so much for linking to The Truth about... Laura :-) X #thetruthabout

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    1. Thank you! And thanks for such a fab linky x

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  3. I love how you have worded this, and yes I have been in this situation before. Its horrible. I hope it doesn't deter you from going again. #madmidweekbloghop

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  4. Oh my gosh that sounds terrible - amazing what you come across! I find these situations one of those things I'm just totally unprepared for, I never know how much you can really say to someone else's kid, but I guess the only thing to do is just remove your child from the situation... so hard though! Lovely post, thanks for sharing x

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    1. It is a tough one...I feel this is the start of many similar situations. Thanks for reading x

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  5. Oh gosh I would have done the exact same thing. I have seen it time and time again where the mother is never paying attention to the hitter! My kids have been hit and pushed hard in the soft play centers and I feel sometimes I am the only ones watching my own kids. It's not daycare. I even had to step in a defend one mother as the hitter's mother denied her son would ever do such a thing so I vouched that he was doing it all morning to all the kids. She didn't like it but it helped the mother she was attacking. Bless. It's hard to defend your children without wanting to like you said in our head drop kick them out a window! Hope that's the end of mean boy. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

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    1. Good to here you would have done the same thing! Its so tricky!
      And thanks Jenny for such a brilliant linky! x

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  6. Oooh I always tell off another person's child if they're nowhere to be seen, it's happened loads in soft play in particular! If a child did something to mine and the parent was there watching, I would give them the opportunity to tell their child off. If they didn't and their child did it again, I would happily say "no, we don't hit" in a polite yet firm way, and I wouldn't care if the parent didn't like it. I doubt everyone at playgroup thinks you're horrible, and the shock of being told off by another adult (or any adult at all by the sounds of it!) will do him good! Having said that, I am a lot less judgmental over behaviour since child number 2 has revealed herself as a biter, and I have to watch her like a hawk. I remember Freddie got bitten by another boy we had over to play when he was about 18 months, and I was inwardly really cross and thought the boy was horrible (his poor mum was mortified). Fast forward 2 years with Sasha, and I've been the mortified one, as she has bitten both my Goddaughters and another child for no good reason, despite us being shit-hot on behaviour/manners etc. They are only tiny and hopefully hitting/bitting phases are just that. I have never judged since! Great post #sharewithme

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    1. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. The world of soft play and playgroups is something else! x

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  7. lol, very well told! I hate this kind of situation as I always find that the parents of said child are nowhere to be seen . I never know whether to tell off the child or just move my child away I worry about overstepping the mark and facing the wrath of the other parent... or teaching my child that although they aren;t allowed to hit, if another child hits them then they will get away with it. Bit of a lose lose situation! great post! xx #mmwbh

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind comments and glad I'm not the only one not knowing what to do! x

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  8. haha great post! A little boy hit Oliver at playgroup on Tuesday and O started to cry (obviously), the mum turned to me said 'ooo he's quite sensitive isn't he' No he just doesn't appreciate being hit by a stranger!! Its a hard social situation and one that I doubt I will ever deal with well! Becky x

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    1. Oh no! I can't believe that happened and the mum said that! How rude! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment x

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  9. I don't go to playgroups or soft play for this reason! Gwenn is always the hitter, never the hittee!

    She goes to nursery 9-5 every Friday so if she's a horrible little so and so there then I don't have to deal with it.

    I love that she gets to socialise with children around her age and older but it's in a structured environment. As playgroups she tends to go mad and the looks I get from other parents makes me want to leave after minutes.

    She isn't badly behaved (she's 18 months, I don't think it's possible at that age) but she's big and she's physical and I think her actions are misinterpreted.

    Sounds like you handled it well though. I'd have burst into tears and left.

    x

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    1. Awww....its so so tricky. I never know what to do for the best!
      Thank you for your lovely comment! x

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  10. Oh having kids is an adventure! :) My daughter has been picked on before, but she's done a lot of picking on, too. I feel like she is the bully sometimes and I don't like it all. We're doing our best to teach her love and be kind (just like Jesus), but she gets all kinds of crazy sometimes. Hope it gets better!

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  11. Grace & Lucas say - Our Mothers think you did the right thing and we'd really want you on our side if we got into any trouble. We don't think you're scary witch lady and we send you High05's for being a FAB mum xx #MMWBH

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  12. Exactly my problem. We have this kid that did this to my son and the Mum is nowhere to be seen and what do I do? I just dragged my son to another area. My son cried as he loved the toy in that spot where the kid who hits stays. But if we wont go away he will just go ahead. I wish other Moms will stay with their kids in playgroups. I mean its nice to mingle with other mothers but your eyes should always be stuck on your kid! #mmwbh

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  13. I always say to other children to play nice if the parents aren't around. I don't want my children hurt if they aren't at fault, and I also don't want my children to hurt others.

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    1. Yes, if you can't play nice you shouldn't play at all! x

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  14. I always get involved. In my opinion, if there's no other adult around and one child is punching or kicking others, then why should they get away with it and think that's ok. I'd hope that if mine did something to hurt someone else, that another adult would give him a warning or tell him to rethink his behaviour.

    I've told an older boy at soft play to stop hogging a playhouse - he was standing in the door way, blocking it and then kicking out at any other children (mostly smaller) who wanted to go it. I told him that it wasn't nice, and that he could be hurting people. It didn't work and I'd have loved to have dragged him off. But unfortunately I couldn't and just had to warn other children and parents approaching that he was being horrible to children and to watch out. I have no idea where the mother was. I've always found that the children who cause the hassle, never seem to have parents keeping a watch out. Maybe they should and their children wouldn't cause as much hassle.

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    1. Glad to hear I'm not the only one who gets involved!!!
      Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment x

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  15. Eeek that's a tricky situation! I do think you were right to tell him though, we have to fight our own childrens' corners, otherwise who else will? x x

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  16. Oh God, a similar thing happened to my daughter at soft play (our first and last time there) last week. An evil little wretch toddled right over and threw a ball at her head. He was at least 2, my daughter is 5 months old! I was fuming. Both his parents were there and do you know what they did? They laughed! I smiled back weakly, packed up our stuff and left, determined never to return again They didn't tell the boy it was wrong to hit my daughter. God, I was irate. I wish I'd said something to them, I really do. Fab post! Maria x

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    1. I can't believe they did that! That is just awful. You poor thing. No wonder their child is so naughty if that's how they react when they do something wrong!!!
      Thank you for reading and for taking the time to comment x

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  17. Oh no, formative but not nice situation, you did the right thing! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts

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    1. Thank you! And as always thanks for such a fab linky to link up with! x

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