Friday, 25 December 2015

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas!!! 
I wanted to write a quick post to wish you all a very happy Christmas! I hope you all have a lovely day filled with love and lots of food (obviously!) 

It's 5am on Christmas Day as I write this and I've been up all night. Usually when people say that, they haven't but it just feels like they have. I actually have. Little LL has reflux (we think) and this last night she has woke every 45 minutes in pain. It's horrible. To see your little baby in pain is tough. Add to that my sleep deprivation and you've got a recipe for me probably crying a lot today!! But it will be OK. 

I know reflux will pass, and I know that other than that she is a beautiful, healthy little girl. But right now, as I feel like the only person awake in the world, it's pretty tough. 

I think we're all ready for today. The presents are laid out and we prepped the vegetables ready for lunch. By the way, don't look at Instagram today. I've been scrolling through all night, and all I've seen is people's trees with more presents than I thought humanly possible for a child to have! It's easy to lose sight of what christmas is about and feel like you've not done enough or a good enough job as other people. 

And this Christmas I haven't been my most organised. There are things I would have liked to have done, but I've not had the time. There are things I would have liked to have taken my eldest daughter to, but I've not been able to because of LL. I've had mum guilt alot this Christmas.

On Christmas Eve I'd planned for us all to watch Christmas DVDs and eat popcorn, but that didn't go quite to plan as LL was unsettled and, oh yes, we think there's a mouse in the garage so my husband spent an hour installing fancy sonar devices so it will go and live elsewhere. I'm hoping the said mouse wasn't meant to be my surprise Christmas present. My eldest was quite excited about the mouse actually. I think she wants it as a pet. I say mouse, I hope it's not a rat. Anyway, he or she should hopefully be vacating the garage sometime soon. 

This Christmas is different to all of our others. Today I have the most beautiful three and a half year old and the most precious 7 week old baby. I have an amazing husband who is the best daddy in the world to them both.  How lucky am I to be a mummy to two little girls. 

So today I'm forgetting Instagram, Twitter and looking what everyone else is doing. I'm going to try and not think of the things I haven't or could have done. I'm going to enjoy our first Christmas as a family of four. I'm also going to try and limit the amount of times I cry, though I can't promise anything as I'm so so tired! 

Sometimes the idea of Christmas and our expectation and anticipation can be different from the reality. But that's ok. That's life. I hope my daughters look back and know that even though I could sleep standing up, at 5am on Christmas morning I was sitting in bed cuddling LL and thinking how much I love them both and how lucky I am. And hoping they both have a wonderful first Christmas as sisters. 

Whether you are having a quiet Christmas today or a big family Christmas, enjoy every single minute. 

Happy Christmas and thank you for reading, and I hope this 5am post makes sense! 


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