Monday, 2 May 2016

The things I thought I'd never do

Before I became a mum, I watched, sometimes with fascination, at other times with unease - border line disgust, at the things new mums did around me.  I made a promise to myself that I would not do such things, that motherhood would not change me that much, and that I had to draw a line. Then, I became a mum, and that line? I practically stamped all over it. Here's a list of things that I promised myself I would never ever do, that I now totally do as a mum of two. 

1. The Boob Lift
As all breastfeeding mums know, you are supposed to swap which boob you start feeding from at every single feed.  I knew this, and thought I'd get a nice bracelet or failing that at least a hair band, which I could switch from wrist to wrist after feeds so I would know which side to feed my little one from.  The reality? It's a miracle if some days I brush my hair and put a hair band in that, never mind remembering to put one on my wrist. The result? The dreaded boob lift, where you lift up each boob to try and judge which one feels more full of milk.  I've seen mums hoist up their boobs at groups, almost in some yoda like trance, carefully considering each boobs weight and density.  I have to say, I'm much more discreet than that, but nonetheless, I've done the lift. 

2. The Nappy Sniff
When I saw a mum do this I actually recoiled.  She lifted her little one into the air and gave her little one's bottom a good sniff to ascertain if his or her's nappy needed urgently changing.  Why not just go and change them I thought to myself, how lazy! and who wants their bottom sniffing anyway?  Several years later, and I've been known to do the occasional sniff. I misunderstood that sometimes, the whole rigmarole of actually getting everything ready and going to the change room is pretty exhausting on approximately 30 minutes sleep, especially if that awful smell is from that kid lying next to yours.  

3.  Have an annoying catchphrase
Uh, I hate annoying catchphrases.  Just because you have a baby it doesn't mean that you lose your ability to converse in adult language surely? Fast forward to severe sleep deprivation and watching Topsy and Tim and a certain pink pig, and I found myself saying, 'okey dokey', OUT LOUD, to a complete stranger.  The horror. 

4. Share my food
I can remember very clearly that a colleague told me that she was once eating a chocolate cake and her daughter wanted to share it.  My colleague ended up eating hardly any of the said cake, and I can remember being horrified.  There would be no way on this Earth that this was ever going to happen to me. Ever. I mean, I really love cake. And now? Whilst I might not agree to give the entire piece of chocolate cake away, Bee definitely has her fair share off my plate. 

5. Sing or dance in public. Sober. 
Pre-baby singing and dancing was reserved for nights out on the town after a few drinks and channelling my inner Beyonce.  Now? I can command a room with my rendition of twinkle, twinkle and actions to wheels on the bus.  Well, almost.  There was that one time when I thought I was on the X-factor.  But my point is, now I just do it. Ok, sometimes I mime, but if it brings a little smile to LL's face, I'm doing it

So there you have it, it's official. I do the things I never ever thought I would, because I've got two little people whom I love more than I ever ever thought I could. 

Is there anything you do now you're a mum that you never thought you would? Would love to hear your thoughts!

Thanks for reading, 

1 comment:

  1. It's amazing how we change when we have kids isn't
    I used to think exactly the same when it came to sniffing nappies.