Wednesday, 13 July 2016

How did you get so big?

How did you get so big Bee? 

How is it four years since we very first met face to face? 

At times it felt like it went so so slowly.  Surviving on hardly any sleep.  Some days seemed so so long as I held your tiny little body. Questioning my every move as a new mum, was I doing it right? Were you are OK? Was it meant to be this hard? 

Cleaning food out of my hair and that highchair that was so hard to clean. Cleaning wee up from the floor for the hundredth time during your potty training.  That tantrum you had in Sainsburys where you actually rolled all the way down the aisle.  On those days, yes time seemed to go slow.  I thought those days would last forever. 

But they were very soon gone.  Interspersed with chasing you around the floor, your infectious belly giggles and smiles.  Our picnics at the park, day trips out with grandma and granddad (you've always loved an afternoon tea), our adventures to new places, and singing and dancing to Beyonce.  Those days passed in the blink of an eye.  And before I know it you are four. 

How did you get so big and grown up?  

Like when I had spent all day making your birthday cake and you came and put your hand on mine and told me I'm a good woman.  Or tonight when I asked if I could have a bite of your pizza and you replied, 'Of course you can Mama'.  

I'm so proud of you.  You are amazing.   

I wrote in your birthday card that me and your Daddy love you with every part of our being.  You giggled when I read that, I think you think it says with all of our beans. But it's true.  I also wrote we will love you forever. 

Now that you are four, I hugged you and told you that you are still my baby.  Even when you are a hundred, you will still be my baby I told you. And you replied that that's ok, that you will be. 

You are my everything Bee.  You taught me how to be a mum, how to learn from my mistakes and that life's too short to worry about the small things (which I still find hard to do). You taught me a love that is amazing, yet scary.  You taught me that the days are long but the years are oh so short.

You make me want to make you proud.  To believe you can do anything you put your mind too. I started this blog because of you. 

Happy birthday my beautiful baby girl. 

I love you with all of my beans and my being, 
Forever, even when you are a hundred. 


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