Monday, 11 July 2016

She ate what????

I can distinctively remember lying on the lounge floor with Bee and encouraging those tentative first crawls. Daily.  "Come on", I would call, showing her how to do it and looking like a complete muppet doing a slow motion crawl on the floor next to her. Crawling was a big thing.  I mean, it is a big thing.  But this time round with baby number two? I've not been as keen to get LL crawling.  Because as lovely as it was when Bee took those first crawls, it also meant for me, hours on the internet and raised levels of anxiety.  

I should point out here that no babies were harmed at any point of this blog. The only thing harmed is my state of mind.  

I should also point out that all incidents occur when my husband is on the other side of the world. Which leaves me with my over active imagination and Google.  A bad combination. 

The first thing that occurred with Bee after only a few days of her crawling was that she picked up a fairy non-bio washing liquid container, you know those ones that you fill up and put inside the washing machine? She found said container, which looked a lot more exciting than her expensive Sophie the giraffe and proceeded to suck it like it was going out of fashion.  I had been unloading the washing machine when I looked up and saw her. Now, the container had just come out of the washing machine and was actually spotlessly clean, but that didn't stop me washing her mouth and panicking I should contact the poisons centre.   

By the time I had Googled for an hour, I had calmed down a bit and the rational side of my brain took over with the small but significant fact that there was NO washing liquid in it anyway. 

The next incident involved some blu-tac that little Bee decided to chomp on and then swallow.  To begin with, I was mildly annoyed that she had turned her nose up at the Annabel Karmel fish and grape sauce I'd only just made and this piece of old sticky stuff was more palatable than my cooking.  I then panicked it would stick to her insides (yes I am a nurse, but let's not mention that, ok?).  An hour of Googling and a phone call to my mum later and I'd calmed down.  And yes, it did turn up again a few days later perfectly intact in her nappy.  It was actually good enough to use again (I didn't). 

And so you see, I was in no hurry for LL to get her crawl on.  Crawling means household objects take on a whole new life and don't get me started on my daughters toys which are everywhere and seem to be designed to be tiny and just the right size to be a major choking hazard, damn you Shopkins.    

But alas, here we are.  And little LL is moving around the house faster than a whippet. 

Yesterday at baby group, she went and licked another babies bottle lid. As she's exclusively breastfed I'm not sure what she thought it was, but then I started panicking. What if there was breast-milk in the bottle and she's ingested someone else's milk (there wasn't and she didn't), what if the lid was germ ridden (it didn't look it).  This led me to daydream in class if you could buy an at home disease detection kit. 

Today, whilst attempting to clean up, I noticed that we'd left an ant killer trap down in the hallway.  Now LL was no where near it, but still, I've since continuously beat myself up for stupidly leaving it on the floor when she can now get everywhere.  I've also read 3 research papers on ingestion of ant killer and have spent the evening feeling like the world's worst mum.  

These little lessons have taught me I need to be faster, quicker, a tad smarter and to not leave ANYTHING that can't be licked ANYWHERE.  Obviously, that's what we all know and obviously that's what the health visitors will tell you (gulp), but it's done now and our crawling adventures continue, hopefully with no more hiccups. 

But in all seriousness, please take heed and have a quick look round if you've got a crawler.  Oh, and if Annabel Karmel could concoct a recipe that has the consistency of blu-tac and taste of freshly washed linen with a hint of old milk, I think it would go down a storm with my girls.

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